Today's post is from a guest blogger that's very dear to me, Kara Cole. She's hopping on over here today from Letters to Noble.  Kara and her husband, Adam, attend Keypoint Church and have quite a testimony. Trust me you'll want to read further. Just a quick overview for those of you new to Kara: she developed cancer from her first pregnancy that resulted in months of chemo and no baby, but praise God she survived! Later, Kara became pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful little bundle in blue, Noble. A few months after little Noble was born he went to Jesus while in his sleep. As of late, Kara has some exciting news. I'll let her explain:

"HELLO SWEETCHEEKS"

“This isn’t real, this can’t be real life.” As I sat in my bathroom a fear of astronomical proportions seemed to fill the room and suck all the air out.  “This wasn’t the plan, I’m not ready, it’s too soon, this CAN’T be happening, we’ve been careful, we’ve been preventing, God what are you doing to me!”

You see, after several days of puzzling bodily symptoms I woke up very early one Saturday morning with a hunch, but not fully expecting it to be true.  After several minutes of tossing and turning I marched into the bathroom and pulled out an unused pregnancy test I had left over from several years ago, deciding to hurry up and pee on the thing so it could tell me NO and I could go back to bed.  Except it didn’t say no (neither did the other 3 I took over the course of the weekend).  As I slowly carried the little stick back to bed with me and layed down next to a peacefully sleeping Adam I proceeded to cry myself sick.

All I could see was overwhelming fear, I was breathing it, choking on it, it was clogging my lungs and crushing my spirit.  The thought of having another baby, of trying to lay it down to sleep was overwhelming.  How could I do it?  Not to mention the fact that insurance wont cover this pregnancy, we were going to have to pay cash for everything.  The enemy kept reminding me of past dollar signs “what if its cancer again Kara, that cost over $200,000 or what if something goes wrong with the birth again, Noble’s NICU stay was over $80,000, you don’t have insurance to foot the bill this time.”  And on top of it all was the tangible knowledge of pain, after all we’ve been through, I wasnt ready for more.  I was like a fresh spring tree, tentatively sprouting out, stubbornly putting out signs of life but still so weak should a late frost sweep over my limbs.  In those first few days all I could think about was the frost, how would I survive the devastating, bitter cold if it came sweeping through?

But O my soul, isnt He good?  Over the next several weeks as I spent more and more time telling Him all my fears and pouring my heart out He rewarded me with more and more of His presence, the Holy Spirit has been hanging around me like a delicious little storm cloud.  I am enveloped with His calm and there’s just no more room for fear.  I am reminded of who my God is, of His sovereignty, of the sheer power of His nearness and my faith is nearly leaping out of my chest!  This only makes room for a dawning Hope.  Suddenly I want to stand in my front yard with my underwear on the outside of my pants, my homemade cape flapping in the wind, my hands firmly planted on my hips and shout “I am a child of God, I am His chosen one, and now O neighbors staring at me, watch as I slay this beast called Fear in the name of the Lord, KAPOW!”

And all the while the Lord is speaking over me: “Sadness is NOT your portion, grief is not your permanent path.  Like the shedding of old skin, you will step out of sadness, it no longer fits you.  Step out of it and see that your new skin is Joy.  Do you hear me?  My promise over this child is Joy.”

A dear friend told me the story of another family who had lost a child.  One night the dad was crying out to the Lord and found himself saying “God my heart is just blown up with pain.” And the Lord responded “your heart is like a balloon, every time it is blown up it is stretched a little more. Right now your heart might be blown up with pain but that pain is stretching you so that next time, when I blow it up with Joy it will have the capacity to hold and experience more.”

So here I am, with my balloon of a heart.  It’s been blown up so many times I can’t hardly comprehend the amount of Joy it can hold, but it’s slowly starting to dawn on me.  As more and more days pass I can’t help but fall to my knees in gratitude as an unearthly Joy washes over me, fills my balloon and tugs it toward the heavens.  Listening to that precious little heart beat, seeing that tiny little flutter on the ultrasound monitor brought a restoration that I didnt know was possible.  Now we are waiting for several little sweetcheeks, the toddler the Lord is bringing to us through our adoption and the little munchkin He is growing. 

How do you bring earthly words to unearthly elation?

Psalm 126: When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. Restore our fortunes, Lord, as streams renew the desert. Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest."

What did I tell you? Quite a story! Many of you know my own journey of losing a child so Kara is very dear to my heart. I longed to see her walk through her tragedy filled with God's supernatural grace and believe it or not, joy. Kara did just that. The grace of God on her and Adam blew me away. I'm proud of Kara. I'm proud of Jesus. Situations like this show you how big God is, what a true believer is really capable of and how redemption is just so real. 

Feel free to comment or discuss. I'd love to know your thoughts. 

To prevent spiritual drift we should “read our Bible, worship God, get involved at church, and pray.”  That is a quote from Craig Groeschel, Pastor of Life Church in Oklahoma, and I must say that I agree one hundred percent. Soooo, with that in mind I wanted to talk about how I read my Bible because getting good ideas from others can make us wiser… I want to be wiser!

Everyday (or at least I try) I read my One Year Bible. I have done this for the last seven or eight years now.  You can find them at any Christian bookstore. Mine is paperback and is at least twenty years old! It has notes and marks written all over it. I love going back and reading the revelation God gave me years ago when I was dealing with certain situations, etc.

When you follow the One Year’s Reading Plan you will read parts of the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalm, and Proverbs everyday. I don’t know that I am disciplined enough to do that on my own.

Before I started reading my One Year I would open my Bible and read in random places. While that is fine and beneficial, I never felt like I had a solid direction in my Bible reading. Years ago the Old Testament was not my favorite part of the Bible. I would often skim through it just to check it off my list. Now, after reading my One Year, I LOVE the New Testament. It’s probably become my favorite.

It’s amazes me how, though my daily Bible reading, God speaks to me according to what was on my heart that day. When my heart is heavy and I pick up my Bible I am almost certain before I start reading that God will give me a scripture to lift me because He’s done it so many times before!

It’s also a proud feeling at the end of each year to close my One Year and know I’ve read the entire Bible through once again. There are many Bible reading plans. If you have one you love then stick with it. If you need direction, a plan to help discipline you, and want to read the Bible through in one year then try out the One Year Bible and see if you like it.

How do you read your Bible? Any ideas we may benefit from? I’d love to hear.

Drama queen. That’s a popular phrase today. Though it’s mainly meant for strutting toddlers sporting tiaras, feather boas, and magic wands, I’m afraid some of us grown women have missed the memo! :)  

I’m challenged by the words in 1 Thessalonians 4:11 that say to make it our goal to lead quiet lives. Obviously, quiet personalities aren’t necessarily godlier. What the word quiet means in the Greek is “rest.” And the Bible isn’t talking about sleep. It means our spirits are rested (and sometimes our mouths too!), and our lives are free of unnecessary chaos.

Some of us live so drama addicted that we find it hard to rest. Believe me, I’ve been there. And I don’t just mean drama with other people. I mean if we don’t have something to be stressed over, then we’ll make something up, we’ll create a situation. Life just doesn’t feel right unless there is drama involved.

But this is not the way God wills us to live. Sometimes we can’t control the crazy events that happen in our lives, but let’s not be women who willfully bring tension upon ourselves. Let’s learn to wean ourselves from drama and to appreciate the peaceful times we are granted in life. Instead of seeing down time as dull and uneventful, let’s understand it as time for rest.

So unless we plan on sporting those plastic dollar-store high heels and glittery wands, let’s leave it to the little girls to be the drama queens!